The job that I really liked experienced cutbacks recently and I was one of the folks to be let go. Rather than my usual updownspiral of ‘freakoutedness’, I’ve been quite calm and developed a ‘come but may’ attitude.

I feel quite bad for the owners of the company rather putting all of my energy into feeling sorry for myself and I spread out hope that the economy can only perk up a bit to help others who may be suffering the ill effects of some not-so wise decisions made by those we’ve entrusted our with economic well being.

These are tough times. All the more reason to be forgiving, gentle and kind with one another.

The antidote many say is to rush myself off to a retreat and park butt to cushion. I haven’t done a retreat in oh so long and part of that scares me. I really do admire those of us ‘laypeople’ who practice in the world. Sure the idea of sitting off in an Himalayan cave sounds absolutely frightening to me, but it takes such bravery to also face the world daily and work with our own unique obstacles and challenges.

This morning, I was on the Seinfeld subway ride in which everyone was either trying to push me, smother me, prod me or generally get under my skin. One fellow commuter stepped out of the subway car to let others out and when I tried to hop back in, was promptly shut out. He slammed his fist onto the door and stomped off in a huff. I had that shared connection on feeling that anger. Then I looked at the man who forcefully pushed me aside as he ambled on the subway and tried to evaluate what he was thinking when he barreled through a wee 5ft tall girl to score a seat. I saw a lot of pain in his aging face. No wedding ring and signs of loneliness. Ah all of these projections. I could only wonder what storyline he was creating about me.

In Buddhism, we are presented with the bitter pill of gulping down that suffering is a part of life. Some of us face it as the truth while others turn away in fright or continue to numb ourselves from this reality.

It struck me how our death manifests in itself so much of our personality- as how we travel through our lives is similar to how we face the truth of death when it presents itself. My aunt preferred to communicate via a series of journals rather than to open up her pain to the world, whereas I twitter, blog and note on facebook every single headache, misfortune or celebration that comes my way.

Death and life are intertwined and interconnected.

We all display such humanity and courage in how we live- and how we die, whether we are conscious and aware of it or not.

To my aunt, you were brave in your silence and you will be missed greatly.

I laugh when I catch this one radio ad speaking of eliminating ‘the years of spackle and paste’ that builds up in one’s intestinal walls. Really? ‘spackle and paste?’

I’m currently reading a book on Tibetan Medicine and there are so many references to purification so I’m wondering if I’m late to the purification party or I”m just confused with the approach that we’re OK as we are in this present moment – all ‘spackley and pastey’ or if we need to work to eliminate years and years of toxic buildup.

Any thoughts?

I’m always get myself involved and over committed to things I think I want to be a part of only to realize that what I ended up with was just more anger, stress and anxiety. I guess I feel some comfort in that I realize that I’m feeling like I need a change rather than just sitting in the boiling pot.

Damm if the ‘more balanced, simple, clear and focused life’ doesn’t sound ideal to me right now… Or am I just grasping? I’m having my mid-life career crisis early!

Those of us who start on the path to right livelihood find that our lives are more balanced, simple, clear, and focused. We are no longer strung out in a meaningless cycle of material consumption. The contemporary economy focuses on this cycle of consumption. It doesn’t really support our efforts to find meaningful work. Today, work is a means to consume or to pay debt for consumption already indulged in. How many people do you know who really love the work they are doing? How many feel bored and alienated? How many are simply earning the money to spend it on material pleasures? Right livelihood demands that you take responsibility for making your work more meaningful. Good work is dignified. It develops your faculties and serves your community. It is a central human activity.
~ Roger Pritchard, in Claude Whitmyer’s Mindfulness and Meaningful Work

It didn’t take long but I knew that he was someone who I’d want to grow old with, could laugh each and every day with and would remain dedicated to irregardless of whatever obstacles faced us on our path together.

I’d always hear love songs and scoff at the overly flowery emotions which sounded too constructed and contrived.

Then NOFX come along and write this,,, the most beautiful love song I’ve ever heard..

I thought you were the one when I heard holidays in the sun come
From your bedroom but my mind started to stray when I saw youth of today
Mixed with your singles whats with this underdog
And this gnr ep? I dont think hanoi rocks
And I dont want your paul stanley next to my subhumans gatefold
Im not trying to be a jerk but I dont think this record mergers gonna work

But when I saw christ on parade, and this is boston, not la
I knew you were the one
I knew you were for me when I saw the first vandals ep
I found snfu and cool I owned that record too
Seems we both had social unrest and sung shes a pervert nurse
We both had the first pressing of how could hell be any worse

So now we got two earth ads and we got two killing jokes
We got two adolescents two penis and two the crews
We got two someone got their head kicked ins
We got two declines, two damaged
And two jealous agains, I knew you were the one

When I saw machine gun etiquette
I knew you were the one when I saw the peace war comp
We got two articles of faith, 31 minutes of group sex
We got a couple of avengers, and a pair of out of steps
We got 2 what we do is secret, we got 2 tsols
We got 2 freedom of choices we got two three hits from
Hells
I knew you were the one

OK… So maybe I’ve been a little mean to some pop culture celebrities but I’m happy to say that overall, my blog is pretty positive and kind to others.

Thanks to MC for spotting this site and bringing it to my attention via her beautiful, creative and inspiring blog Vu D’ici

Kind Blog

Geez I’m rough on myself!

Today I had the flash that there isn’t a ruler measuring how dharmic I am and even if there was, it would be encouraged that I question the existence of that ruler!

I love that quote about ‘the path is the goal’ and it’s so true. All of this living. All of this mundane dishwashing, internet surfing, Battlestar Gallactica watching, allergy-suffering, working 9-5 and feeling like a confused 20something trapped in an adult’s body is my path.

It’s my workable, fucked up, brilliant, funny, sad, joyous path… and it is to be embraced and looked at fearlessness and with a sense of wonder and curiosity. Who knows where it will all end up. That’s the exciting part.*

*What’s also exciting is that it used to be so scary… This Type A gal usually likes to know where she’s going, how to get there and who will be sitting beside her. ]]> http://fullcontactenlightenment.com/2008/05/practice-is-each-and-every-day/feed/ 0 http://fullcontactenlightenment.com/2008/05/law-buddhism-and-right-livelihood/ http://fullcontactenlightenment.com/2008/05/law-buddhism-and-right-livelihood/#comments Wed, 14 May 2008 18:20:00 +0000 TMcG http://fullcontactenlightenment.com/?p=37
Japanese criminal law texts.
Originally uploaded by umjanedoan

Did you hear the one about the lawyer and the buddha? No? Neither did I. That’s why I’m asking if there are any lawyers in the house?

I’m giving more and more thought to right livelihood these days and I’m going to be applying to law school in the winter to give it a go.

It’s a childhood dream of mine (as a child of divorce- you get to know lawyers pretty early in your life!) and feel like it would be a good way for me to exercise wisdom, compassion and service. Am I deluded?