Zen and the Art of Falling in Love
Given that I often thought that motorcycle maintenance would be much easier than falling, being and staying in love, I sought out some self-helpy advice from a book titled “Zen and the Art of Falling in Love“. Hey, with Body & Soul magazine saying that it is “A powerful, potentially life-changing book”- how could I go wrong?
I’m a sucker for these kinds of books.. The ones that try to blend the dharma with relationship advice. “What if the Buddha dated”, “What if the Buddha married?”, “Sex and Dharma“… I own them all and have re-read them looking for that profound nugget of advice to help it all make sense.
I always thought that one book waiting to be written is “What if the Buddha perpetually fucked up relationships?” There’s always so much fear to be overcome when with another person. As a student of perpetual self-analysis, I often fall into the trap of over conceptualized thinking rather than just being in the moment. Past hurts and future fears seem to trap me and I get out of the deliciousness and intensity of the present. I’m quite mindful not to hurt others but often I’m so hard on myself.
Noah Levine’s latest book “Against the Stream” weighs in on the debate by stating that celibacy is a way to break the attachment that relationships cause. I find it hard to accept his premise that love doesn’t cause attachment but that sex does. Maybe I’m being naive here…
I think that being in love inherently has an element of suffering to it and that it is not so black and white and all rose petals and heart shaped boxes of chocolates. Situations change. People change. Old age, sickness and death will separate us.
Guess that’s why I continue to buy the Buddhist self help claptrap and hope that it helps me to work on it all.
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