Attaching, grasping and not letting go

2007 April 29
by TMcG

Through the process of examining how attached I am to my surroundings, the comforts that surround this body and this body itself, I realized how difficult it is for me to think of letting it go. The struggle over time to release myself from the attachments I have built up over this and many lifetimes is one which is proving to be quite a challenge.

I hate saying goodbye to loved ones as they ready themselves for a journey. Going home to visit family and boarding the plane is always so tender and raw. Seeing tears in my mom’s eyes and her sadness in knowing that we will be separated by such a distance always puts a knot in my throat. That journey into the unknown that we each take through the process of dying is quite similar. Will I say goodbye tenderly or will I resist and fight it? Will I push people away and seek solitude or will I want others to share in preparing me on my way? Will I be surrounded by strangers or be taken from this world suddenly and without warning? Will I debilitate over time?

It’s the mystery and lack of control that is so scary. But what am I trying to control here?

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