He passed away on Monday after declining health due to old age. I am saddened to the core. My house is empty. His sounds are no longer present. Memories arise from seeing his socks, his leash, tufts of his fur. Choked by the sadness of missing him. Comforted in knowing he had a full and beautiful life. It’s a big roller coaster of emotion.
Seeing the nature of impermanence when you lose your best friend to old age and sickness. Touching in on the suffering that I feel. That we all feel. Exploring the nature of feeling sad, scared, lost, hurt, attached, overwhelmed, groundless.
This is the path. It’s not easy, but it’s the path.
It’s been a while friends. You’re used to my spotty updates by now. That’s why we’re friends
- You all know that I love me some hooky, poppy, powerful punk rock. I’m a big fan of PEARS (who I have to credit Rod from Lion’s Roar for introducing me to). Recently their lead singer, Zach posted some honest talk about his struggles and his successes on Facebook and you should read it. Here’s a snippet that really resonated with me (as a fellow anxiety junkie) –
“And so I raise my glass of water: here’s to letting go. I shall try to no longer ask for joy, but to allow my myself to have it. This is about unlearning years and years of a bad inner monologue, a shitty script. This isn’t an issue of self control, this is a matter of self acceptance. I have tasted true freedom recently thanks to those who support me, and I want more.”
- Speaking of self-compassion… I just read this book recently and it is so very good. Get it for your self or other selves that you know who could use a little bit of kindness.
- My teacher, Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche is coming to teach in Montreal soon and I’m beyond happy. Like deliriously happy. It will be the first time I’ll be in the same room as him and not seeing him projected via images on a screen or a voice on a podcast or mp3 teaching. Anyone else have this kind of experience in after a long time of not encountering your teacher (or other significant person in your life) and then BOOM – they’re instantly a few feet away from you? Talking. Being. Maybe it’ll be like the time I saw Gene Simmons give a talk and I kept saying “Uhhhh….The 9 year old me would not believe that this is happening! Uhhh. I am going to throw up!” Or maybe it will be an ordinary experience. Like seeing a childhood pen pal and totally connecting over tea. Or maybe a blend of both experiences? Or a whole new one? Maybe I’ll strap a GoPro camera on my head to give a running commentary of it all. Or maybe I’ll just go with it.
- “The Dharma of Harm Reduction” from the mighty Buddhist Peace Fellowship is an important read.
- Ever read a blog post that summarizes how you feel? This is that post (minus the yachting!)
Unless you’ve been dwelling in a cave, you’ve been experience the global fascination with The Dress.
Thursday night before bed, I showed the photo of the dress to my poor, long suffering husband (he’s used to being subjected to a barrage of cute animal videos, deep philosophical ruminations, State of the Union Addresses on the current behaviour of our two pugs and a myriad of other complaints, quirky thoughts or passing fancies).
“It’s white and gold. How are people saying it’s black and blue?” I huffed to him while sticking my ipad in his tired face.
“It’s black and blue” he grumbled.
Then I became carried off in my frustration at #teamblackandblue and tried to demonstrate how I was seeing things correctly and he was mistaken.
Yesterday my social media feed was filled with debate, tweets, posts, likes, memes. The news concocted in-depth studies on the nature of vision, perception – everything under the sun that could make for a story to continue “Dressgate.”
It was while watching the late night news that I saw it. What I had perceived with my own two eyes SHIFTED. The dress became black and blue.
I’d take a black and blue dress over a white and gold one any day. So it blew the whole argument on how my preferences could be behind wanting to see a white and gold dress.
Now this dress is giving me much to think about from a Buddhist context.
Funny how that thing we call samsara works. There’s always something better just over there. Just out of reach. Close. Then so far. Oh. It’s back. Damm. I don’t want it anymore and there’s something new. Razzle dazzle. Super shiny. I hate the old and want the new thing. Lost the new thing. Stuck craving that new thing again only to have an even newer, better thing enter my thoughts.
Repeat again. It’s quite cyclical as we all know
At least we semi-quasi-still-not-yet-enlightened, shit-stained, yet spotless Buddhas-in-training know this is part of the gig of being human.
But does that help us feel better about it all? We have taken the red pill after all.
I was thinking about this recently after a chat with a spiritual friend who mentioned how fortunate I am to have a bunch of helpful strategies and terms in my ‘toolbox’ to help me better understand and navigate the world. Yes. I do feel quite lucky at times for this. What used to be filled before with hopes of pacifying pain with drugs, alcohol, love, food, <insert anything in this space that would offer some fleeting feeling of okay-ness> is now filled with understanding my motivations, the motivations of others and a deeper level of what’s at play. That step back to examine before reacting. I do suppose that is quite helpful and has served me well.
Then I wondered, what kind of life I would have had, had Buddhism not entered my life when it did. Not to get all “Sliding Doors” over here but I sometimes find myself indulging in thoughts to what my life would have been like had I not had the karmic Dharmic seeds blow through my life and take root.
Funny how life turns out.
May we all be free from suffering.
Sending over a little patch of sunlight your way given that much of the East Coast is about to be covered in snow Do stay safe and if you are so inclined, please donate to a local food bank to help lighten the load.
It’s quiet around these parts. Doing a lot of self care and self work. Had a little bit of nice sangha/study news that made my day and am also looking forward to a teacher who is traveling to Montreal to teach a course I’ve been quite interested in. All in all, things are chip chip cheery. So much so that I haven’t yet dug out my new SAD-busting lamp to see if that could help fight the winter blues.
Onwards to some linky goodness. What’s been hiding in my tabs and in the crevices of my RSS reader?
- Here’s a little bit of Buddhist humor that I found over on a friend’s Facebook page: “Buddhist Annoyed at Own Reincarnation.” I got a pretty good laugh out of it.
- I really enjoyed this blog post titled “The Quality of Mercy is not Strained.”
- Lose yourself in this song… and this video… Ahhhhh….
- For those of you who like me, complain about the weather, this piece in The Lion’s Roar by Pico Iyer will resonate.
- “Decency Is the Absence of Strategy” appeared in the Shambhala Times Community News Magazine and appears as part of their efforts to work with conflict that arises within their sangha. One of the things I really appreciate about the Shambhala community is their high level of organization and their aspiration to work with each other. I look forward to read more posts as a means to help in my own development, both on and off the cushion.
- Recovery 2.0’s latest online conference is just around the corner. Be sure to register if you are interested in recovery.
- Imagine my joy when I read this article (Best personal hashtag for my situation is #marriednokidstwopugs. Hojun Laura Jackson – I want to be a part of your girl gang who are gathering to contemplate these issues of birth and non birth
- Last but not leastly, one of the raddest guys out there, Miguel Chen had an article titled “Why Punk & Buddhism Beats “Us Vs. Them” featured on The Lion’s Roar. Fingers crossed we’ll see more from him in the future.
It is an honest account which examines the injustices of racism, sexism and gender-based oppression from the standpoint of a Buddhist who has experienced each throughout her life. I believe that all sanghas need to read this book in order to truly examine what it means to provide an inclusive and welcoming environment. Many personal anecdotes are cited within its pages and I was left feeling quite uncomfortable by many parts of the book where I was left feeling so terribly sad after reading about the injustices faced by Zenju throughout her life.
It’s a rare book sadly, as the Buddhist bookshelves are not stocked up with books that cover the topics of race, sexuality and gender (as much as we truly need them). These aren’t topics commonly addressed within our sanghas either, given that we may feel unnecessary discomfort in bringing them up. Our failure to do so prevents us from developing as individuals and as a community. It is quite harmful and limites our potential.
The book offers a call for tenderness in the face of this oppression. Tenderness in exploring the pain and suffering present with such divisiveness and hatred. Sure anger has it’s place, but the author asserts that true change comes from tenderness.
“The Way of Tenderness” isn’t written with just one audience in mind, rather takes into account academics, activists, those who are spiritually-minded and those who are both marginalized and privileged. It’s an accessible, honest and passionate read.
Much of the book speaks to the concept of labels and identity and whether, beyond the Buddhist belief that these are to be transcended, they are actually helpful in order for awakening. The suffering caused from facing the challenges and discrimination inherent having been born in a body deemed ‘not normal’ or ‘displaying tendencies or desires outside of the norm’ are ideal tools for awakening according to Zenju. One needs to study the self in order to discover this very tenderness that she believes is so vital to help with transcendence and liberation. By exploring hatred, we come to know peace.
How can a path to spiritual liberation possibly unfold if we turn away from the realities that particular embodiments bring? To confront hatred with spirituality is to confront the way we view race, sexuality, gender, or whatever form of embodiment we are as living beings. To provide a meaningful path to spiritual liberation, spirituality must acknowledge the body and the denigration of certain types of bodies in the world. We cannot close our eyes to these phenomenon if we really want to be awake and aware.
“The Way of Tenderness: Awakening Through Race, Sexuality and Gender” is a vital read. I only hope that more books, communities, teachers and students begin the dialogue around the issues which Zenju addresses within this book. This is where we will start to see true change emerge and our sanghas and our selves can be fertile ground for the love, compassion and tenderness that the world so desperately needs – regardless of our perceived differences.
Titled “Dhamma Aboard Evolution- The Breakthrough Research on the Aggañña Sutta,” this book features research that demonstrates that this sutta is not ‘satire’ or ‘parody’ as characterized by many Western scholars, but rather one which outlines the Universe, and the evolution of human society.
Here’s the abstract which provides even more detail:
Dhamma Aboard Evolution seeks to establish that segment # 10-16 of the Aggañña Sutta of the Dīgha Nikāya is no ‘satire’ or ‘parody’, as seen by scholars. Drawing upon Cosmology, Darwinism , Psychology (e.g., Freud, Piaget) and Linguistics, it paints a historically and scientifically accurate picture of Devolution and Evolution, going beyond the Big Bang, in which sentient beings emerge, defilements from craving to passion in tow, nourished by an evolving plant life. Compatible with Western Science, the breakthrough comes when âbhassara Beings are taken to be Photons, taking ‘âbhassara’ in a literal etymological sense of ‘Hither-come-shining-arrow’. Accurate as the picture may be, the Buddha’s point, however, is that knowledge of the Dhamma overrides it all, explaining the title. Resolved in the study are a ‘Chronological Paradox’ relating to ‘lingua’ appearing in Beings before ‘linga’ and a ‘Spiritual Paradox’ of Jhānic level âbhassara Beings indulging in sex. Among other topics treated are the Vedic Creation Myth, the intended audience and the structure of the total Sutta – not Jātaka but the Beast fable of Pañcatantra fame. The Appendix shows the Buddha as Originator of this Story Within Story literary genre. Going beyond the Sutta is an invitation to an ‘Academically Engaged Buddhism’, taking ‘Trust in the Buddha’ as a methodological imperative, just as Trust in God was for Western Science from the Greek times up until Einstein.
Visit this link to download the book.